Working With You Is Killing Me

by: Katherine Crowley and Kathi Elster

Published by: Warner Business Books

Reviewed by Sue Stein

How often has someone you work with driven you completely up the wall, and you swear you can't take it anymore? What's the matter with them, you mutter, why can't they just change so they aren't so annoying? Perhaps it is time to rethink things.

Let's face it, they aren't ever going to change, so instead, why not change your reaction to their maddening behavior? Or maybe the problem isn't your nutty co-worker or boss. Did you ever stop t
think that you might just be your own worst enemy at work by dint of your irritating quirks?

Whatever your work situation, this book has with not only the symptoms but also the cure for what ails you. The authors use questionnaires, anecdotes, and specific scenarios to come up with solutions to various work situations.

Katherine Crowley, a Harvard-trained psychotherapist, and Kathi Elster, a small business expert, combined their expertise in this book.

Each chapter describes the problem behavior, how you might be
exacerbating the problem, and actions you can take to change your
reaction to the behavior and thereby create a different result. Th
authors believe that the one factor having the most impact on a satisfying work environment is being able to master your state of mind, and after reading this book, I agree.

They describe emotional "hooks" and delineate steps you can take to "unhook" yourself, along with setting boundaries at work.

They describe the "Fatal Attractions," who suck you into their webs: the exploder, the empty pit, saboteur, pedestal smasher, and the chip-on-the-shoulder, all of whom make life miserable.

But managers also have their own crosses to bear in the form of parenting their recalcitrant charges, the employees, a.k.a. the chronically delayed, MIA, cynics, passive-aggressives
attention-seekers, bad attitudes, slugs, addicts, and the thief.

The authors' contention that..."If you can change your reaction, you'll change your life" resonated with me--not only in terms of my job, but also my life--and this book illuminated this for me.

Armchair Interviews says: If you don't have someone at work who drives you a little batty, you must work alone. This book is worth the read.