The Truth About Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It

by: M. Gary Neuman

Published by: John Wiley and Sons, Inc.

Reviewed by Connie Anderson

Marriage counselor Gary Neuman adds this fascinating book to those he has written on helping kids cope with divorce, and also one on emotional infidelity and finding the spirituality in tie of struggle and happiness.

This book on cheating is based on survey results as well as Neuman’s professional experiences. My book has many tabs marking significant pages I want to refer to when talking with friends about this.

The irony is that I am writing this review on our 41st wedding anniversary—and even I learned several things about MEN. Written for women to better understand what makes men tick–and what makes them cheat, Neuman lays it all out.

Actually the author tells women that men are complicated beings even thought women don’t think they deal with emotions very well. In fact the reason men cheat are:

– 92% of men living in the U.S. who cheated said it was not primarily about sex.

– 48% of men said EMOTIONAL DISSATISFACTION was the real reason they cheated.

To eliminate a man’s feeling of emotional disconnection, his wife has to take on an attitude of appreciation and kind gestures.

The male psyche is programmed to win, and if he feels like he “cannot win at home no matter what he does” in his marriage, he will find someone else who makes him feel like a winner. A man’s world is about simplicity. The idea of lying about having an affair was interesting, and many men lie because they figure it is the easiest of the options they face–like telling the truth. Neuman stated that for every lie that is avoided (after the wife asks…), there is a better chance of repairing the marriage.

The book is done in two parts: 1) Why and how men cheat, and 2) How to improve your marriage. The appendix is about value of therapy and how to heal after an affair.

I liked that each chapter contains some case studies, tips and things to do, and he backs up everything with results of the survey.

This book isn’t just for women who feel their husband many already be cheating, but as a prevention manual.

Armchair Interviews says: Very interesting!