Sheltering Thoughts about Loss and Grief

by: Sharon Gilchrest O'Neill

Published by: Tate Publishing, LLC

Reviewed by Laura Langer

Sharon Gilchrest O'Neill has assembled a collection of thoughts, quotations, and short exercises about grieving, inspired by work with the Connecticut Hospice, Inc. Each page contains a single thought or quotation, or a chance to express the reader's own thoughts or feelings about a particular topic. The book is divided into sections like Memories, Treasured Possessions, Happiness...Sadness, but it's sometimes unclear how the pages in each section relate to the section topic.

What struck me most about the book was that it would offer someone mired in the chaos of grief short bursts of thought, not requiring sustained reading or focused attention. For someone looking for a narrative thread, or a unifying philosophy, this book is not the place to look. I couldn't help but contrast it with Joan Didion's Year of Magical Thinking, a treatise on Didion's own process of grief, of working through the stages of feeling, thought, and emotion.

O'Neill's book, in contrast to Didion's treatise-like work, gives us bursts of thought, short quotations, and the chance to jot down a few of our own thoughts. About the quotations: I am often disconcerted by quotations in a book like this, where people are quoted out of context, and the reader is given nothing to put the quotation in context. Sometimes the quote is from someone familiar, like Carl Jung or Sinclair Lewis. We may not all be familiar with Jung's or Lewis' work, but we have something of a framework in which to place them. We can find their writings, read their novels. But, who is John Gray, and how does he relate to the experience of grief?

The writings of the author seem to be designed to provoke movement in grief, to give the grieving person a different perspective, a way to begin to think about how life has changed, and will change more.

Armchair Interviews says: For someone who needs some inspiration, a sense that they are not alone in this experience, and a way to find brief, accessible musings on grief, this book could be very helpful.