If only I could...

by: Greg M. Sarwa

Published by: Ampol Publishing Inc.

Reviewed by Julie Failla Earhart

There is no love equal to the first love. No matter who we marry, how our lives change and how many loves we have, it’s that first love that leaves an undeniable blemish on our hearts. Such is the case for John and Agatha, the lovers in Greg M. Sarwa’s second novel, If only I could… .

John lives in a nursing home. His alluded-to checkered past is never clear but readers do learn that he never got over his first love Agatha. He never moved on, never married and is now waiting on the inevitable–death, which the doctors say will come sooner than later.

Agatha has led a full life, having children and a wonderful marriage to a man who does not quite capture her heart the way John did. She considered her life a good one and now spends the majority of her time helping with the grandkids.

A chance meeting on the street in an unnamed city (my guess is somewhere in Europe and probably Poland, based on the author’s biography) leads the couple to rekindle the fires that once burned so bright. Both are secretive about their affair. John keeps it from his neighbor and probably best friend Frank, while Agatha isn’t exactly forthcoming with her children. It doesn’t really matter; they have found each other and can enjoy what remains of their lives.

Sawra’s sweet story is interrupted by flashbacks to the couple’s school days and their meeting. The flashbacks are jarring in the fact that he never names John and Agatha. They are called the Boy and the Girl. This structure diminishes the reader’s ability to join in John and Agatha’s renewed sparkle as they spend quiet days roaming the square in Old Town, going for walks, dinner, and the movies.

Their romance seems doomed when Agatha introduces John to her children. Her son, Johnny, is not happy that he is named for her mother’s lover, but it illustrates how deeply that first love marks the human soul. If only I Could… gives readers the opportunity to reflect on their first loves and wonder what happened to the person who remains hidden deep within their heart.

Armchair Interviews says: A nice story of first loves.

Author’s Web site: http://www.GregSarwa.com