Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace

by: Ayelet Waldman

Published by: Doubleday

Reviewed by Krista Quinn

Ayelet Waldman’s controversial comment (in an essay she wrote) that she loves her husband more than she loves her children was reason enough for me to want to read her latest book, Bad Mother.

Although I’m not currently a mom, I hope to be one in the near future, and I was eager to read Waldman’s perspective on what I call the “female catch-22.” How can moms “have it all,” and more importantly, can they be good at it all?

Waldman’s book is filled with vignettes about her own life as a mom, as well as stories about her friends and family’s experiences with motherhood. While Waldman is painfully honest, and generally relatable, I didn’t find the book to be as provocative as her statement about marital versus parental love. She covers a wide range of subjects, from competitive parenting and homework, to balancing the work-family dynamic, and mothers seeking support on Internet blogs and message boards.

At times she rambles and it feels like she is saying the same thing using different words. She really emphasizes the point that mothers need to stop judging other mothers for the choices they make, and they need to stop judging themselves too.

My favorite part was the last chapter, which is called “What I Want for Them.” In it Waldman discusses the idea of mothers and the sometimes-unrealistic expectations they have for their children, and she ends with a short description about the kind of mother she wants to be.

This really rang true for me. Waldman says that she wants to be a mindful mother:

— A mother who revels in what her children are, rather than spending too much time worrying about what they should or shouldn’t be.

— A mother who does her best, and for whom that is good enough, even if, in the end, her best turns out to be, simply, not bad.

Tidbits like this are not as abundant in the book as I’d hoped, but they are there, and for this reason, I think Waldman’s book is worth the read.

Armchair Interviews says: Interesting and thought-provoking read.

Author’s Web site: http://www.AyeletWaldman.com